I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
