its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
