Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
