so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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