So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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