Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
