Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
