Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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