She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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