i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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