I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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