Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
foreskin is a definite game changer
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
