I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize