idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
