I need help removing her.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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