Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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