i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
