Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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