you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
