What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
did i just pee glitter
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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