redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So many bounce houses so little time
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
