Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
