i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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