How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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