Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
