So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
