Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
