if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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