I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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