She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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