I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
