well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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