And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
