I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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