SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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