I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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