I want to stick my p in your. b.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I supernannyed him into submission
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
