I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he shaved USA in his pubs
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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