If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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