My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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