You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize