? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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