He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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