Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize