The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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