what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
