So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
