hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
