Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
