If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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