omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
