i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
