OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
