ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
