No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
