Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
