Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
