Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
