Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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